The Visit
by 2queens1prince
Summary: Henry and Elizabeth end up in the ER.
1. Chapter 1

AN: I'm just going to make this statement. Sometimes innocent observations lead to hilarious and ridiculously inappropriate conversations. Sometimes those conversations may lead to fic ideas and sometimes I have a spare hour to write.

"Babe, I am so sorry," Henry pressed a kiss to Elizabeth's cheek. She offered him a small smile, while holding the towel to her head, her hair still hanging in dripping chunks leaving large wet spots on the back of her sweatshirt.

"It was an accident, and someday we'll probably look back on this and laugh." Henry raised an eyebrow. "Although right now, it's so incredibly embarrassing." She looked him over. "How's your ankle?"

"I'm hoping it's just a sprain. I'm okay. You?" She held up her arm, her wrist was officially twice the size it should've been, and her head was throbbing. She settled back in the rather uncomfortable chair to wait their turn. Looking around at the rows of wooden chairs with their cheap plastic upholstery, so wondered if all hospitals bought their seating from the same place. Every hospital she'd been in had similar seating.

"Elizabeth McCord," a nurse called from the doorway. They both stood and Elizabeth walked over to the woman.

"Can my husband come too?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, he's being seen as a separate patient. He'll be next." She offered Henry a slight smile as he sat back down and motioned Elizabeth back. "I'll see if I can get you in adjoining rooms though." Elizabeth nodded. That would be better than nothing. She was having trouble with the thought of going through something this embarrassing alone.

Once in the room, the nurse pointed to the exam table. "So what brings you in here tonight?"

"Um, I fell in the shower and cut my head and hurt my wrist," Elizabeth said softly

"Alright. Is that all that's hurt?" the nurse asked.

"I think so." Elizabeth said. The nurse gave only her a curious look and left. Maybe this would be easier than she thought.

A few minutes later, a man knocked and poked his head in. "Hello, Elizabeth. I'm Dr. Donelson. I heard you had a fall."

"Yes sir," Elizabeth replied, offering no further information. She was annoyed at herself that she was blushing. That wouldn't help her cause.

"How did you fall?" he asked.

"I slipped," she said, and added _Down the wall and on top of Henry,_ in her thoughts.

"Okay. Let me look at your head first." He pulled back the towel that Elizabeth was holding to her head and removed it. He pulled Elizabeth's hair back a bit and she winced. She felt like there was a pretty good sized lump under the gash as well. "Yep that looks like about ten stitches. Surface laceration though, nothing too concerning. What did you hit that cut you like that?"

Elizabeth gave him a wide eyed look. "I'm not sure. Maybe the towel bar?" She shrugged slightly, and hung her head. She certainly wasn't going to divulge that her eyes had been closed, revelling in all consuming passion and then, out of nowhere, she was laying in a heap on top of Henry. The doctor nodded and proceeded to look at her wrist.

"I'm going to send you down for x-rays, but I'm going to check you over and make sure you have no other injuries. He bent and twisted her in all different ways, but when he pushed on her hip, she let out a squeal. Pushing down the waistband of her sweatpants just a bit, revealed a large bruise on her hip. "What happened here?" he asked.

"I'm not sure. I must have hit it on something," she said. _Henry's knee perhaps?_

"Alright then, the x-ray tech will be down in a minute. I'll be back."

Dr. Donelson walked down the hall and stopped at the nurses desk. "Can you please call someone down from social services. I've got a possible domestic abuse case."

The nurse grinned at him. "Why don't you wait a minute on that? Talk to the husband first. He's your next patient." The man raised his eyebrows at her. She shrugged.

Dr. Donelson rounded the corner and entered Henry's room. "Hello." He paused, glancing down at the chart. "Henry. I'm Dr. Donelson. What seems to be the problem?"

"I fell in the shower and hurt my ankle." The doctor looked down at Henry's ankle propped up on the table and it was most certainly swollen.

"I see. Do you have any other injuries?" he asked. Henry shook his head and the doctor checked his ankle first and then did a whole body check, finding a large bruise on Henry's thigh. "Any idea how that got there?"

"I can't say for certain sir," Henry answered, silently praying that would be in the end of the questioning.

"Hmm," Dr. Donelson said. "I'm sending you to x-ray to check out your ankle. I'm thinking it's just sprained, but I'd like to be sure. Henry nodded.

Dr. Donelson stepped out of the room. The nurse looked up. "Do I need to make that call to social services?" He grinned at her.

"I don't think it's necessary." He chuckled. "I'm going to go stitch Mrs. McCord up and maybe offer a few words of advice." He headed back down the hall and pushed the door open. The nurse already had the tray of surgical instruments laying out.

"So Mrs. McCord, it seems that both you and your husband had a rather unfortunate experience in the shower this evening."

Elizabeth couldn't keep herself from blushing a deep shade of crimson. "Yes sir." she mumbled. He now stood at her side, ready to stitch her up. "Do you feel this?" He poked around a couple times to see if the numbing agent had taken effect. She shook her head. He had her lean over and he scrubbed the cut thoroughly and rinsed the area before starting the stitches. "I'd like to offer you a bit of advice that may help you in the future. "If you are going to continue to engage in shower activities in which you could injure yourself, invest in a good bath mat. Not one of those little ones. Get a big one, with lots of suction cups on the bottom. You don't want one that's going to slide around." He finished quickly. "Only nine stitches. In ten days, go see your regular doctor and have those taken out. I'm going to check your x-rays." He disappeared.

Elizabeth wanted to crawl into a hole and die. How embarrassing? Where was Henry? He needed to be with her so she didn't have to go through this alone. Almost on cue, Henry came hobbling through the door on a pair of crutches. "Is it broken?" she asked.

He shook his head. "Just a bad sprain. I need to stay off of it for a couple weeks and make sure I ice it. How about you?"

"He hasn't come back to tell me about my wrist. Oh God, Henry. He knows and he told me that we should-"

"Get a bathmat?" Henry covered his face. "I know. So embarrassing. But guess what we're going to go buy as soon as I'm off these crutches?" Elizabeth giggled, leaning into him and giving him a kiss. Dr. Donelson strode back into the room and Henry and Elizabeth pulled apart quickly.

"Well," he smirked, "Glad to see there are no hard feelings after this evening's events." Then the doctor stopped and chuckled at his own pun causing Henry and Elizabeth both to turn beet red. "Sorry about that," he said offering a lop-sided grin. "I just came in to let you know that your wrist isn't broken, only badly sprained. You'll want to keep it wrapped for the next couple of weeks or so, unless you are sleeping and try to keep it elevated as much as possible and ice it three times a day for 20 minutes at a time. If you need to, you can take ibuprofen for the pain." Elizabeth nodded and Henry wrapped his arm around her back.

"I'll make sure she does it. Thank you Doctor Donelson," Henry said. Elizabeth nodded.

As he started to walk out the door he turned back to them. "The nurse will be in momentarily with your paperwork and he'll wrap your wrist. Then you're free to go." He walked out, but then immediately stuck his head back in. "I'm dead serious about the bathmat. Go big! Lots of suction cups. I don't understand why people don't put those on their wedding registries. Now that's a gift that keeps on giving." He grinned widely and let the door fall shut.

"Oh. my. God," Elizabeth said, burying her head in Henry's shoulder.

"I want to die," Henry finished. "If there's ever a next time. I say we just stay at home and forego medical care."

"Deal!" Elizabeth agreed.

The nurse came in, wrapped Elizabeth's wrist, handed them their discharge paperwork and pointed out the exit.

On the way home, Henry looked over at Elizabeth and chuckled. "What?" she asked.

"When we get ready to buy a house, I think the most important thing should be the shower," he said. "It needs to be big."

"Definitely," she added, "with the swinging doors, not the sliding ones. Towel bars on the outside." Henry nodded in agreement.

They both looked at each other. "With a bench!" they both said, smiling. Then Elizabeth giggled, "And a bathmat!"

Henry laughed and squeezed her hand. This would be a story that they had no intention of ever sharing.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: If I can come up with this story sober, I should never be allowed to drink and write.

"We said we'd never come back," Henry mumbled.

"That was before your ability to bear children might be at stake. I don't think we can ignore this." She glanced down at his pants, the crotch of his sweatpants stretched tight. "It's been three years. The chances of seeing anyone we saw then are slim," she said, squeezing his hand. "Other than the obvious problem, do you feel okay?"

"Yeah, there for a while I was having trouble breathing, but I think it was a combination of panic and pain. It still hurts, but I'm not as over the top as I was." Henry slipped his hand into hers. "This has to be the craziest thing they've ever seen."

"Well, since the last time we were here," Elizabeth giggled. Henry playfully pushed into her arm, then grimaced.

"Henry McCord," called the attendant from the doorway. Elizabeth helped Henry to his feet and he shuffled carefully to the back, where they were directed to a room. "A nurse will be with you shortly." The woman disappeared and Henry groaned as he shifted back to sit on the exam table.

A nurse appeared at the door within seconds. "Hello. I'm Sandy. I'll be doing triage today, what seems to be the problem?"

"I got stung several times." Henry's eyes dropped to his lap, focusing on his stretched pants.

"Ow," she said, inadvertently.

"Yeah," Henry muttered, wincing from the pain just a small amount of movement caused.

She pointed to the table. "Lay back and I'll examine you."

"I don't think I can lay down," he said.

"Hmm, let's go ahead and have the doctor see you and maybe I can get some pain meds into you. Just a moment." She disappeared out of the room.

Elizabeth slipped her hand into his. "I'm really sorry."

"Don't be. It was awesome. Well, until it wasn't." He smirked at her.

The door swung open and in walked a familiar face. He had his head down looking at the chart. "Mr. McCord, I'm Dr. Donelson." He lifted his head as he extended his hand. Seeing the couple, a wide smile covered his face, causing them both to turn beet red. "I'm not much for remembering names, but I never forget a face." He grinned. "It's been a while."

"Yes, it has," Elizabeth sighed, their previous encounter still fresh enough to remember the embarrassment. He surveyed Elizabeth and noted the three large welts, by her eye, on her cheek and by the corner of her mouth. He nodded and turned his attention to Henry.

"So Mary said you were stung? Do you know what stung you?"

"Bees," Henry responded. Dr. Donelson looked at him curiously, his eyes wandering from Henry to Elizabeth. Both looked terribly embarrassed.

"Alright," he said. It was evident he was having a hard time keeping a straight face. Reaching around, he pulled the bed to a slight recline. "Think you can manage this?" he asked. Henry nodded. "You change into a gown and undress at least from the waist down and I'll be back in a minute." He left the room.

"Twenty bucks says he's in a room cackling about us." Henry said, as he gingerly maneuvered his sweats down his legs. Elizabeth helped him tie the gown and sit down on the bed before she removed his shoes and pulled his pants the rest of the way off.

"I think you're being generous. I think we're the talk of the entire ER department. Who would've thought?" She shook her head. "Can I help you?" Henry waved her off. It was just a couple more minutes before Dr Donelson reappeared. He took a blanket from the closet and covered Henry.

Henry laughed hoarsely. "I think the modesty ship has sailed." That caused the doctor to chuckle.

"At any rate, let's see what we have here," he said, pulling the gown back. Hmm, looks like four stings and stingers still in 2."

"We couldn't get the stingers out fast enough before the swelling made it impossible," Elizabeth said. The doctor nodded and gave Elizabeth the side eye.

"And what's the sticky stuff?" he asked.

Henry looked at Elizabeth. "Honey," he said, a tinge of guilt his voice

The doctor visibly shook his head, causing Henry and Elizabeth both to cringe. "Okay, you two, usually I try to dance around this kind of thing to try and limit embarrassment, but I'm just not in the mood to try and piece together what happened. Just tell me what you were doing so I can figure out what I need to do."

Elizabeth exhaled a shaky breath, but Henry jumped in before she could start speaking. "We were having a picnic under the tree behind the horse barn. I fixed peanut butter sandwiches."

"And I brought the jars of jelly and honey because I didn't know which Henry would want. And there was wine, lots of fine wine," Elizabeth added.

Henry nodded and then continued. "So after we ate, we were talking and that progressed to kissing and then-"

"I swiped the remnants off the plates and, uh," Elizabeth paused looking for the right word. "Slathered him in honey and jelly." She shrugged. "Then suddenly there were bees everywhere. There weren't many options for getting it off quickly, so I, uh, took one for the team."

"Oh? Is that what we're calling it now?" Dr. Donelson asked, his amusement evident. She shrugged. "But honey, outside, under a tree? Not the best choice."

"Actually bees aren't attracted to honey. They are attracted to flower nectar and they produce honey, which they make and save to eat only in case of emergencies. The jelly was the problem. It's sugar based." The doctor gave her a hard look over the top of his glasses. "But, yeah, I get what you're saying." She gave him a small smile.

He shook his head and grinned before reaching over and pulled a tray of instruments from a drawer. He removed the two remaining stingers and ordered a shot of Benadryl. "Take a shower when you get home and get cleaned up. Then rest and maybe apply a cold compress if you want. Frozen peas work great." Henry nodded.

Dr. Donelson looked at Elizabeth. "Are you okay? Are those three the only stings you have?" She nodded.

"I took some Benadryl before we left home. I'm fine."

"Perfect! I'll have Mary get the paperwork together and you might want to hold off on any 'team activities' until the swelling goes down." Henry gave him a thumbs up and Dr. Donelson rose to leave. "Oh, one more thing. I'm retiring in a couple years. If you are going to engage in any more of these sexcapades, do it before I leave. They make for the best stories. How's that bathmat working for you by the way?"

"You haven't seen us lately, so I'd say it's working just fine," Henry mumbled. The doctor nodded.

"Have a good day, McCords." He exited and almost immediately the nurse returned with the shot for Henry and the discharge papers and they were soon making their way to the car.

Henry leaned in a whispered. "Think we have one more sexcapade in us?"

She smirked, "We're going to have to get really wild. But, at least we have a couple years to try."


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: The final installment of H/E's sexcapades gone wrong. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 3

The ambulance was on its way and Henry looked down at Elizabeth's naked, unconscious, body on the barn floor. "She'll kill me if anyone sees her like this." He looked around wildly for her clothes, which had been tossed in the heat of the moment. Climbing over upended workbench, he quickly found her shirt and jeans, but her undergarments were missing in action and he was running out of time.

Henry was certain there was no spinal damage, she'd just been hit in the head-hard. He was definitely concerned that she hadn't regained consciousness yet, which was why he had dialed 911. He tugged her jeans back up her legs, and cursed. He loved how those tight jeans accentuated her ass. However, when she was sweaty and hay covered, it did not provide the optimal conditions for redressing his wife. He pulled her dead weight forward and stuck her arms in the sleeves of her flannel shirt and quickly buttoned it up before laying her back on the ground.

Henry could hear the sirens in the distance and Elizabeth moaned and squeezed her eyes shut at the same time. "Shh, babe. Don't move," he spoke softly, his head held close to hers.

"I hurt," she mumbled and turned her shoulder in an effort to roll over.

"Elizabeth, babe, no. Stay still. You hit your head." He held her to the ground for a moment. "I've got to tell the paramedics where you are. Don't move."

He headed out of the barn and flagged down the ambulance, making sure he was seen, before running back inside. Elizabeth had rolled to her side and was trying to sit up. "I can barely see Henry. It just hurts."

Henry's concern for her well being was temporarily tamped down by his irritation at her stubbornness. He quickly shoved the bench away so the paramedics could have better access to Elizabeth. On cue, they entered pulling a gurney over the rough terrain. The first to reach Elizabeth, knelt down by her side. "Hi. I'm Alan. It sounds like you took a pretty good hit to the head. Do you know what happened?"

Elizabeth squeezed her eyes shut trying to ward off the pain while she thought and then her cheeks flushed bright red. "Uh, we were riding and then brushing down the horses, and then I was sitting on the workbench waiting on Henry and then nothing." Alan looked up at the man talking to his partner, Jerry.

Jerry held a clipboard and went through the normal list of questions and then he got to the "what happened?" and Henry froze. His eyes went wide to Elizabeth, who still lay on the floor, her cheeks now crimson in color. She obviously remembered.

"Well-uh-so-yeah," Henry started, and Jerry's headed popped up, looking away from the clipboard he was jotting notes on.

"Look. I've been doing this job for ten years now. There isn't a whole lot that I haven't seen, so just spit it out and don't even think about lying because that's your wife on the ground and I don't want to do something that might harm her because you were embarrassed about whatever it is that you were doing, alright?"

Henry closed his eyes and spoke, deciding that it would be easier to tell if he didn't have eye contact with the older EMT. "The gist of it is that she was sitting on the workbench and we were going at it, but it seemed very wobbly, so we moved to the floor and when we were done, I grabbed the edge of the bench to pull myself up and it came away from the wall and fell forward. The edge smashed Elizabeth's head to the floor."

"Hey Al, you catch that?" Jerry asked the man behind him, working on Elizabeth.

"Yup," Alan replied. "Swelling on both her forehead and the back of the skull." He turned his attention to Elizabeth. "Okay, we're going to put you on a backboard just to be safe. I doubt there is any spinal damage, but just because you were hit on the head, I'd rather be safe than sorry."

"Mmm hmm," Elizabeth mumbled, leaving her eyes shut. Henry knelt down beside her.

"It's going to be okay babe." Within minutes, they had her strapped to the backboard and loaded on the gurney, making their way to the ambulance. After contacting the ER, Alan got the okay to administer fentanyl for her pain, and Elizabeth relaxed almost immediately.

With Jerry driving and Henry riding in the front seat, Alan continued to monitor Elizabeth in the back. Once the pain meds finally kicked in, Elizabeth opened her eyes and took in her surroundings. "What was your name again?" she asked, shifting her eyes, trying to see the man at her side better.

"Alan," the EMT replied, not taking much notice of her, but watching her vitals on the monitor overhead.

"Hmm. You're hot Alan. You must work out a lot." She attempted to raise her arm to touch his defined biceps, but realized her arms were strapped to the backboard. "Shit," she muttered under her breath. "Show me your hands." Alan quirked his eyebrow at her, and slowly held up his latex gloved hand. She studied them for a moment and then grinned. "I think I'll keep Henry." Elizabeth quieted and Alan went back to watching the monitor. All was quiet and they were just hitting the edge of town and the road noise died down as they hit the smoother pavement of the streets. Elizabeth piped up and said loudly, "Henry has the best hands. You have no idea what he can do."

Jerry started snickering and Alan was all out laughing in the back and Henry was embarrassed to the point of annoyance. "Can't you give her something to make her shut up?" he asked, which only fueled the EMTs laughter.

"Buddy, I promise we've heard it all. No worries, alright?" Henry slumped down in the seat and turned to the window as Elizabeth prattled on incoherently about his fabulous hands.

When they turned into the hospital entrance, Henry let out a sigh of relief. They parked and Jerry hopped out to open the door while Alan disconnected all of the monitors. Henry was standing at the back of the ambulance when Jerry and Alan pulled the gurney out and let the wheels fall down. Elizabeth was wheeled into the Emergency bay with Henry following close behind. They met the nurses and handed off the clipboard. "26 year old female with possible head trauma, lost consciousness for approximately 15 minutes before we arrived, has been alert, exhibits full use of extremities, pushed 100 mcgs of fentanyl 20 minutes ago."

"Dr. Donelson," Elizabeth practically yelled as the doctor sidled up to the gurney. Henry officially wanted a hole to open up in the floor and swallow him. The doctor couldn't help but shake his head at the young couple.

"It's been a while, but I see you made one last hurrah before I retired. So what is it this time?" Dr. Donelson asked. Elizabeth, who was still greatly under the effects of the pain medication giggled.

"You wouldn't even believe it, Doc. We had just had some seriously mind blowing sex and out of nowhere, I got slammed to the ground and my head exploded." She took a second and thought about that and then started cackling. "Mind blowing, head exploding. That's some funny stuff right there."

Doctor Donelson shook his head, and looked to the EMTs. "You guys can go on once we move Mrs. McCord off your backboard here." The staff made quick work of it and the guys were ready to step away.

"Hey Alan, come here," Elizabeth called. The EMT moved toward his now former patient and she grabbed his upper arm, squeezing his bicep. "Mmm hmm. Those are nice." Then she slid her hand down his arm to his wrist and held his hand in front of her face. "Yeah, not quite what I'm used to, but thanks anyway." She let him go and turned to Henry. "I love you baby," she cooed as she reached for him.

"Now she likes me," Henry scoffed, but he allowed her to take his hand.

"So much better" she said, running her hand over his. Henry pulled his hand back.

"Can we get her checked out?" Henry asked.

Dr. Donelson read over the EMT's notes and shook his head. "You two," he muttered. He did a cursory exam on Elizabeth. "Send her down for an x-ray and CT scan. Let's make sure it's nothing more than a mild concussion."

"Mr. McCord you can go on down with your wife. Take this." He handed Henry a basin. I have a feeling she'll be needing that. Henry nodded.

Luckily they made it through testing and back to the ER. The pain meds had worn off and as happy as Henry was that Elizabeth had stopped vocalizing every thought in her head, he was terribly upset about the amount of pain she was in, especially once the vomiting started. Henry was just about to hit the call button when Dr. Donelson returned with a smirk that was far beyond what he usually possessed.

"Is everything okay?" Henry asked, set on edge by the man's sudden shift in demeanor.

"Mrs. McCord, you are fine. You do have a mild concussion and we'll prescribe you some mild pain medicine to take the edge off, but I'm afraid I can't give you anything stronger."

Elizabeth groaned and Henry narrowed his eyes. "Why can't she have something that will actually help?"

"Because stronger medications might hurt the baby." The doctor waited for that news to settle in. Within seconds, both Henry and Elizabeth's mouths were hanging open. "It looks like you are about three weeks along, so my guess is that you were supposed to start your period in the last day or so."

"Two days ago, but things have been really crazy at work. I thought it was just stress." Elizabeth grimaced, the throbbing in her head was intense and this news wasn't helping. "But the medicine and tests I've already had?" she asked. Henry leaned in, slipping his hand around hers. His mind went there immediately, and he was trying to keep himself from getting too worked up.

"There should be no problems. The fentanyl was a one time thing and our radiology techs took precautions because we weren't sure at the time." Henry breathed a sigh of relief and looked at Elizabeth.

She gave him a small smile. "We're going to have a baby, Henry. And I'd be ecstatic screaming from the rooftops, but my head hurts so fucking bad."

He grinned at her and kissed her cheek, keeping his head next to hers. "I'm sorry about the bench flipping. I had no idea it had come away from the wall."

Dr. Donelson cleared his throat. "So I've got three more months before I retire. I'm kindly asking not to see you again in that time, and preferably don't show up here at least in the next year. The nurse will be in with your prescription and instructions for the next few days."

"Thank you, Dr. Donelson. We appreciate it." Henry extended his hand and the doctor shook it.

"Good luck in your future endeavors. I feel like your kid is pretty lucky to have you for parents. Lucky, and probably accident prone." He shot the couple a wide smile as he ducked out of the room.

Henry made a quick call to the neighbors to see if they would mind running his car into town so he could get Elizabeth home. By the time they got all of the paperwork and prescription filled, their car had appeared and Henry loaded Elizabeth carefully in the passenger seat.

As they drove home, Elizabeth reclined back and closed her eyes Henry placed his hand on Elizabeth's abdomen. "Can you believe it?"

"Not really. It's kind of scary." She tangled her fingers with his and ran her thumb over his knuckles.

Henry chuckled and Elizabeth turned her head to look at him, wincing as she rolled over the lump on the back of her head. She opened one eye. "What?"

"So, you like my hands, huh?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her. Her eyes narrowed and she gave him a confused look. "You told the EMT that he was hot but my hands were better." He shot her a dazzling smile. "I'm just glad I rank somewhere after the incident today."

Elizabeth tensed. "How bad was it? I can claim innocence because I was under the influence of painkillers, right?"

Henry laughed and squeezed her hand. They pulled into the driveway and Henry rushed to help Elizabeth out of the car. "Let's just say I hope you are never interrogated under the influence. You'll give away all of our secrets."

Once in their room, Elizabeth went to the bathroom. "Henry? Why do I have hay in places that I shouldn't have hay?"

"Sex on the barn floor will do that babe. But I think we are relegated to normal, safe places, at least for the next few months." He stuck his head in the bathroom. "Do you need help?"

"Just take me to bed and hold me until my head feels better."

He led her to their bed and crawled in behind her, wrapping her in his arms. "I will gladly do that for eternity."


	4. Chapter 4

AN: This was complete. Done. I wasn't adding to it. And then Lilacmermaid put her March Fanfic Challenge up-hospitals and/or injuries. Well, what options did I really have? There needed to be one final ER visit. Now, this is really complete. Finished. I'm not adding any more. I hope.

Please review. I'd love to hear what you think.

Chapter 4

March 2020

Dmitri had just settled Stevie on the couch. Her casted arm was propped on pillows and the remote was laying in her lap. "Do you need something to drink? I'll get you something, and maybe a snack too." Before Stevie could formulate a reply, he disappeared into the kitchen, determined to attend to his wife.

She had just relaxed, letting her body sink into the cushions when there was a commotion outside, and the door flew open. "Baby, what happened?" Elizabeth cried, bursting into Stevie's apartment.

"Oh my God, Mom. What are you doing here?" Stevie winced as she struggled to sit up. Her casted arm, bent at an awkward angle, made it difficult to move from her reclined position.

"No, no! Stay there. Your father called and told me you broke your arm. I came right over."

Stevie sighed. Her mother showing up on her doorstep wasn't something she thought she'd have to deal with. Stevie was in no mood to have to answer the questions her mother would certainly have and then have to explain this rather awkward situation. "Seriously mom. I'm fine. Don't you have a country to run or something?"

Elizabeth frowned. "Of course I do, but I have an entire staff. I can still check on my daughter who's gone and broken herself. What happened?"

"Hey Stevie. I made you a peanut butter sandwich. Is that al-right?" Dmitri rounded the corner coming from the kitchen, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw Elizabeth, his words trailing off.

Elizabeth looked over her shoulder and her jaw dropped. Dmitri had a black eye and split lip. No one moved for a long moment, and finally Elizabeth slowly turned back to face Stevie and leaned in, speaking quietly. "Do you want to tell me what is going on here?"

Stevie slowly exhaled and covered her face with her uninjured hand. This was going to be a good time, she could already tell. "Dmitri, hon, can you give Mom and me a few minutes?" Elizabeth glanced back and caught Dmitri standing open mouthed, like he wanted to speak, but the words had escaped him. The moment seemed to drag on and finally he turned to go back to the kitchen. Elizabeth noticed a slight limp.

"Stevie?" Elizabeth asked. Stevie noticed the incremental increase in pitch that meant her mom's "worry level" was through the roof.

"It's okay. Really. God. If we could just not do this right now." Stevie closed her eyes. She couldn't possibly imagine having any more awkward discussion with her mother.

"No. I think we need to do this right now. Stevie, are the two of you okay?" Stevie looked at Elizabeth, confused. "I mean, if you need to leave, I can get you out right now. I know Dmitri has struggled in the past-"

"Mom. No. Stop. Geez. It's nothing like that." She sighed. "Dmitri doesn't hit me. In fact it was quite the opposite."

"You hit him?" Stevie's head snapped up and she was annoyed.

"No. Of course not." She shifted on the couch. "Help me sit, would you? I can't have this conversation lying down." Elizabeth moved the blankets and stood, taking her daughter by her good arm, helping her to sit up, while Stevie swung her legs off the couch. Then Elizabeth sat next to her.

"So, we had sort of an accident." Stevie couldn't stop the blush from flooding her face, and Elizabeth immediately noticed. "I slipped, and Dmitri fell on top of me. I landed on my wrist, and somehow I elbowed him in the face. I don't really know how, but he ended up twisting his ankle." Stevie was getting agitated at the whole situation. When she felt her mom take her hand, the whole story came tumbling out. "I said I was fine, but then my wrist was swelling and I couldn't move my fingers without pain and Dmitri insisted we go."

"To the emergency room?" Elizabeth didn't speak for a moment, reliving her own series of embarrassing trips to the ER.

Stevie nodded. "It was terrible. I was so embarrassed and they asked all of these questions that insinuated that Dmitri was abusing me,and I didn't want to give them details, for obvious reasons." She hung her head. "And now there's you, and of course you'll tell Dad, and it's just…" Stevie hung her head.

Elizabeth nodded her head. It was funny how the passing of thirty years didn't diminish those feelings of complete and total embarrassment. She felt it in that moment as much as she did then. Eventually she spoke. "So where did this 'accident' happen?"

Stevie turned away, her face burning. "In the bathroom," she mumbled.

"Excuse me?" Elizabeth asked, her eyebrows taking on a life of their own, poised for a lecture.

Stevie released an exasperated sigh. "In the bathroom." She looked up just long enough to see Elizaeth's expression, her mother's mouth drawn into a thin line and her brows knitted tightly together.

Elizabeth switched from embarrassed to angry instantly. "Stephanie Anne, were you not using the bathmat we got you as a wedding gift? There was a reason for that. Extra large, lots of suction cups. Won't go sliding all around. I gave Blake specific criteria. I mean it's not like I could actually explain why, but for goodness sake Stevie, couldn't you just use it?"

Elizabeth stood and paced the room like a caged animal. "It's not like it was back then. We were nobodies. Now, it will be all over the press-"

Stevie stared at her mom and after a moment, the realization set in. "You mean you and Dad—and then you—and so you gave us—and you're worried about…" Stevie felt the bile rise in the back of her throat. Oh Lord, this was worse than she ever could've imagined.. Obviously her parents still did it, but who wanted to think about that and them in compromising positions, ugh. It was too much. She decided to ignore that whole situation and go with the practical approach. She needed to problem solve—she could do that.

"Mom, it's fine. No one will find out. I promise. Dr. Donelson was very professional—"

"What?" Elizabeth spun around, cutting her off, mid sentence. "Who did you say?" She began muttering. "He would have to be close to 90. There's no way he could be practicing anymore. What are the chances? It couldn't be."

"Mom? What are you rambling about? Dr. Donelson was like, I don't know-in his 30s. It's not the same guy, but here's a funny story though. Dr. Donelson was trying to make us feeling less embarrassed about the whole situation and he told us this story about his grandfather who was an ER doctor as well and he treated this couple that came in with sex related injuries, not once, not twice, but three times. Can you imagine? They must have been nymphos or something—klutzy ones at that." Stevie chuckled to herself at the thought.

When she looked up at her mother, Elizabeth looked stricken. The color had drained from her face, her eyes were wide and her hands were clenched at her sides. She exhaled sharply.. "I think I need to go before this gets any worse. Although I can't imagine it being worse." Elizabeth leaned in and placed a kiss on Stevie's forehead. "Feel better baby. I'll have your father call and check in tonight."

As Elizabeth moved to the door, Stevie felt the need to clarify the situation. "Mom?" Elizabeth turned and looked over her shoulder. "Just so you know. The bathmat works just fine. I slipped on the wet tile afterwards and Dmitri tripped over me."

"Oh," Elizabeth murmured, nodding absentmindedly. "That's lovely. I'm glad that worked out. I've got to go. I'll see you soon." With that she disappeared out the door.

Stevie sighed and sank back into the couch. It took a bit, but then her mother's words ran through her mind and she processed what had been said about the doctor named Donelson and how he would have to be 90. Immediately, she grabbed her phone and labored to type out a text to her mother.

 _Did I inadvertently call you a nympho?_

She didn't get a response right away, so she settled back and several minutes later her phone vibrated in her hand. Holding it in front of her face, she read the reply.

 _I'm pretty sure you did.._

And there was another thing she just really didn't need to know about her parents. Being the oldest really sucked sometimes.

MSMSMSMSMSMS

It was nearing midnight when Elizabeth finally made her way up to the private residence and entered their bedroom. Henry sat on the couch, leafing through a magazine. "Hey babe." His smile was warm and welcoming, and she just wanted to fall into his embrace and escape the stresses of her day.

"Hi," Elizabeth said, her words floating out on a sigh as she slid into the couch, tucking herself against her husband.

Henry shifted, wrapping his arm around her, and kissed the top of her head. He let her relax for a while before he spoke. "Stevie called. She said to tell you that she was sorry. Did the two of you have a fight?" He felt Elizabeth tense and she pushed off of him.

Her face flushed beat red. "Oh no. It was so much worse than that. I mean, who would've thought?"

"Thought what?"

She sighed. "Henry. I don't even know where to begin."

"At the beginning seems like a good place."

She narrowed her eyes and Henry shrugged. "I don't suppose Stevie told you how she broke her arm."

Henry started to answer and then stopped. "I asked, but then we started talking about something else, so no I have no idea."

"The redirect was purposeful." She eyed Henry gauging how much information she would need to provide before he caught on. "I'm sure she didn't want to divulge to her father what happened." Henry stared at her blankly. "Two young adults-newly married-in love. You know how things can happen." Elizabeth let that sit a moment and suddenly Henry's lip furled in disgust.

"Why did I need to know that?" He pulled back, scrubbing his hand over his face. "Where?"

"The bathroom."

"I thought we got them one of those mats for the shower. I was all 'no, I don't want to think about that,' and you were like 'save them the embarrassment of an accident.;" Henry sputtered.

"Good news. The mat was correctly employed. It seems we should've also purchased a rug for outside the shower-wet tiles are slick," Elizabeth said. Henry nodded his understanding. Then Elizabeth continued. "That's not even the best part of this story."

Henry gave her the side eye. "It gets better?"

"Oh yeah. Of course it does. So they go to the ER and take a wild guess who their doctor is?"

"No!" Henry shouted, agast. "It couldn't be."

"Not him, his grandson, but fear not. Our sexcapades live on and our daughter heard how not once, but three times, her parents showed up with various injuries." Henry looked stunned. "Well, the doctor didn't know it was us, nor did Stevie until she put two and two together." She sighed, "But now, well, that's a different story."

"Maybe she'll take it in stride," Henry offered.

"She called us klutzy nymphos. That was before she realized it was us, but still." Elizabeth looked exasperated. "What if this gets out?"

Henry laughed and Elizabeth elbowed him. "What?" He commented. "Our sex life has already been called into question on late night TV. I'm sure it will be fine. If it didn't come out in the campaign, there's no reason to believe it will now." Henry wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. "And if it does, it does. We'll make it through. Just like we always do."

Elizabeth leaned in and kissed him softly. "Sunday dinner is going to be awkward. Jason is coming home and Stevie and Dmitri are coming over."

"Well, perhaps mutual embarrassment will keep everyone quiet." Henry tugged her closer and Elizabeth giggled. "What do you think? Wanna relive old times?"

"We can't get too crazy. I'm headed to the UN tomorrow to deliver remarks. Last time my back hurt for a week," Elizabeth said, matter of factly.

"I don't want to hear anything about that. It was your idea to put the harness in the LIncoln bedroom," Henry countered.

Elizabeth blushed, remembering the evening. Then Henry's hand slipped beneath her silk blouse, his lips were on hers, and she forgot everything but him.

AN2: Credit for the harness in the Lincoln bedroom goes to more-than-words because "Funny Intriguing" is the funniest fanfic ever.


End file.
